Not Who I Used To Be
by Aisu Kurohoshi
Summary: Squid struggles to lose his old identity and wants to have a new life with the most intriguing boy he's ever met. Ziquid


Disclaimer: I certainly don't own Holes.

~*~*~*~

Alan's Mom didn't work and his dad wasn't around, so he needed things like clothes, and food, therefore he stole. And often he would ditch school because everyone there seemed to just know that he was a bad kid.

He didn't particularly have an attitude problem, but when people just kept pushing him, he would push back, only harder, and it landed him suspension on more than one occasion.

His mom told him he was useless, he might as well get a job. But in the small town they lived in, no one was hiring, especially not a suspicious kid like him with a record.

He was a loner until some guys caught wind of his treacherous habits and offered him some money at a much higher cost - burglaries - which hindsight shows was the stupidest idea of his life. But these guys offered him money and acceptance.

He did it many times. He stole jewelry, vases, and other things that were worth much more than the measly share he received for each house. Still he was grateful for no longer having to steal booze for his mom.

Although she would ask Alan if he started selling drugs. He'd say no ma, and she'd wonder when he was going to start.

In truth he was happy he had a gift for picking locks because he was scared of drugs and alcohol. Alan gained a pretty tough reputation hanging out with those guys, but in reality he was there dog. They would point to an object through a locked window and he would sic. He thought with this subservient facade they would accept him more.

His gang suspected he was afraid of what he was doing, so often they would tell him that rich people he stole from had more and that he deserved a share.

They taunted him with these things for so long he started to believe them.

He knew differently now. He hadn't the right to take anything from those people.

He remembered the day he was busted by the cops. He was alone. His mom had gone out drinking, and he was at home cleaning up some of the broken bottles lying around the house. Normally he would just leave, but Alan absolutely hated when his mother came home screaming about how useless he was, and how he was the reason dad left home and that he was turning into a fool.

The cops had dragged him away from the tiny dirty apartment. "You haven't been in school in a while Boy." They said "and we got a tape of you breaking into a residence and we want the names of all your buddies."

The court day was lonely. No one was on his side because there was a tape.

He sat there alone. Berating his self about how pathetic and useless he was, and how ashamed his dad would be if he saw him that way. He was only sixteen years old and he was going to jail.

Until the judge looked him in the eyes and said, "Son I'm going to give you some options, you tell me the names of your gang friends because I suspect they aren't minors like you, and I'll let you decide if you want to go to Camp Green Lake instead of jail."

Alan hadn't told them the names yet because he knew that they would kill him. They would either have someone in juvie do it, or pop him as soon as he got out.

He agreed, and the names came rolling off of his tongue and a great weight was lifted.

The bailiff took him out of the stand and put him straight onto a bus, handcuffed, with only one guard to watch him and instead of going to juvie like everyone suspected. Alan disappeared from that town and went to Camp Green Lake.

His new Home

Alan was asleep most of the ride. He didn't get very much sleep at home. And he woke up to a landscape much different from what he'd ever seen. It was a vast desert land that looked like Swiss cheese on account of all the holes.

Up ahead was a small camp sight and when the bus came to a stop he felt a wave of dread wash over him. After stepping out of the bus he heard someone in the background shout "fresh meat." And he noticed other boys wearing orange jump suits.

He fixed his big brown eyes toward the distance, "Where's the lake?"

The guard looked at him hard and said "Don't be a wise guy" and motioned for Alan to follow him. Alan didn't listen to authority very easily but this guard had a gun so he followed, plus he had no idea where he was going to run defiantly, the desert looked like it spanned for miles.

They entered one of the wooden buildings and Alan was disappointed there wasn't air conditioning because it was so hot his short brown hair was already sticking to his forehead.

A rough looking man with a cowboy hat was sitting at the chair and the guard handed him a clip board. He looked at Alan, and said "sit down." Alan did.

"Alan Smith" he said, "My name is Mr. Sir. Whenever you address me you will call me by my name is that understood?"

Alan looked down and said, "Yes Mr. Sir"

~*~*~*~


End file.
